Homosexuality is kind of like Milk.
You have whole, half-and-half, 2%, and skim:
Whole gay is 100% my-gender-only.
Half-and-Half is Bisexuality, and it goes well with coffee.
2% Gay is Straight, but Shit Happens.
Skim Gay is 99% straight, until exposed to Tom Hiddleson and/or Jennifer Lawrence:
'But shit happens' hahahahaha
And all of them taste wonderful when you add chocolate syrup.
THE BEST TRAIN CONVERSATION I HAVE EVER OVERHEARD
- Man 1: But I'm not Gay!
- Man 2: Yeah, but if you WERE. Thor or Loki?
- Man 1: but I'm not!
- Man 2: IRRELEVANT! THOR OR LOKI!
- Man 1: honestly?
- Man 2: THOR OR LOKI!
- Man 1: probably Iron Man.
- Man 2: SERIOUSLY? TONY STARK?
- Man 1: yeah. I'd love to be Robet Downey Jr's bitch. God, that man....
- Man 2: ooh I know what you mean. how would he proceed?
- Man 1: well we'd be having dinner and he'd have his hand on my leg and he'd whisper in my ear and tell me exactly what he was going to do to me.
- Man 2: oh yeah..
- Man 1: and then his hand'd go further to the top of my leg and start grasping my-
- Random Woman: EXCUSE ME THERE ARE CHILDREN ON THIS TRAIN.
- *awkward silence*
- Man 2: ...and you said you werent gay!